The final entrants into the ranks of the Dreadnoks we have are Burn Out and Zanzibar. Zanzibar I'm sure you'll remember from his classic 1987 incarnation, not that you'd recognize this new version as an update unless you were told. Burn Out did have a figure previously, in the GI Joe vs. Cobra line, but he doesn't even warrant a Joepedia page! I'd have been just as happy, hell, even happier if they'd left this guy out entirely and spent that money on a few new molds to up the quality on a couple of the other figures in the pack. Alright, I think I've lowered your expectations enough- let's get right down to the real nitty gritty.
"Alright, ladies, get your dollar bills ready for Plunderin' Pete the Pirate!" |
"That's right kids, it's time for everyone's favourite special needs bucaneer, Spunky!" |
Like Gnawgahyde, the knife in the small in the back. Cool beans. |
So the verdict on Zanzibar? Do you have to ask at this point? The only reason to own this guy is buying the box set. If you're cherry picking the set, leave this guy marooned on the dealer's page. Now what about our second reject?
Burn Out is the Dreadnok's resident mechanic. He gets the typical Dreadnok backstory- loves destruction, hates society, etc., etc. The main reason I lumped this guy in the leftover pile is because the character is a) Almost totally unfamiliar to me and b) Totally boring. Really, this is a pretty good looking figure- the PoC Recondo body suits the new headsculpt nicely, and the new headsculpt is actually one of the best I've seen.
Mean as hell and with a lethal dose of attitude, this headsculpt, like Zanya's, show the advances made in the last few years in the casting technology used by Hasbro and other companies. And compared to the classic ARAH line? I never would have imagined we'd get the level of detail these sculpts achieve.
And then they blow it by sticking him with a remold of Torch's blowtorch. At least he can hold the damn thing. There's not much to speak of for the accessories this time around, just the blowtorch and backpack and a pretty cool little shotgun which actually fits in his hand beautifully.
I managed to bend the hose the first time putting it in. Smooth. |
I'm one step closer to my Raising Arizona Leonard Smalls custom! |
If you only pay attention to this part, this is a pretty good figure! |
That was a freaking exhausting undertaking, but I'm glad to have accomplished it. Thirteen figures, thirteen reviews. Some good, some not so much (that's both the figures and my reviews, of course), but finished! Or, almost finished! When I was composing the last post I came up with the idea of ranking these guys. It was hard, it was labourious work made possible by the addition of beer, but I managed to do it. So without further ado, the Dreadnoks from worst to first.
13- Zanzibar. Do I really need to go over all this again? Scroll up if you want an explanation.
12- Monkeywrench. I know I was pretty positive about the guy in my review, but as long as he's got that head, he's doomed to the bottom of the list.
11- Zandar. From the scarf that should be worn by the Art critic for the New Yorker to the dull headsculpt, this guy is a big bag of missed opportunities.
10- Gnawgahyde. The "mild mannered" (thanks Toys and Bacon) head ruins what would otherwise be a... Well, pretty mediocre figure.
9- Burn Out. Nothing wrong with the toy, it's a pretty solid entry, really. But the character it's based on is pretty blah.
8- Ripper. Again, I think this is largely a similar case to Burn Out. Ripper was always a distant third for me when it came to the original Dreadnoks, so maybe that's the reason it leaves me kinda cold. Or maybe it's not so great.
7- Thrasher. Like Gnawgahyde, an overly friendly face messes things up. Things are overall pretty high quality here, just the defining parts (the head and armour) are a little... Lacking.
6- Torch. In this case, it's the defining parts that make the figure. A great looking biker vest and headsculpt save this Gung-Ho repaint from the trash bin.
5- Buzzer. The coolest of the original trio gets the best figure of the trio. A couple of annoying details and a couple of majorish flaws keep this guy from greatness, however.
4- Zanya. A great figure with an absolutely amazing headsculpt, this figure is only edged out of the top three because she's not quite as fantastic as the other three. She's fantastic, and you must add her to you collection now. Do it.
3- Road Pig. Almost a masterpiece, this is a shining example of how to do a repaint right. I really miss that crossbow, though.
2- Zarana. This loving recreation of the only competition the Baroness ever had for my young heart ever had is perfect in every detail. I overpaid for her (found her the day she shipped for $15 cheaper!) but you know what? I'm kinda glad. Makes me appreciate her more.
1- Zartan. The Hall of Heroes line was meant to represent the very best Hasbro had to offer, and Zartan is one where I'd say they nailed that. As I said before, he's responsible for me caving into my fandom, so how can I place him anywhere beside the top of the list? He's freaking Zartan!
Whew! There you have it! You know what? Something just occurred to me- 13 Dreadnoks, 13 original Joes. Maybe another multipart post in the near future? Hmmm.... Jesus, I should get my head checked. I think I'd better get back to a few individual reviews before I undertake something like this again. To wrap up once and for all, I'm really glad to have all of these guys in my collection, and I'm even glad to have the ones that didn't turn out so well. If Zanzibar, Zandar and the others had been perfect too, my collection would be complete. And any collector knows that's the worst thing that can happen. We know it's the thrill of the hunt that drives any collector.
Hey! Didn't I promise you guys a surprise? Okay, okay, here we go. I realized I had one more Dreadnok in my collection to talk about- Pursuit of Cobra Zartan.
I think you can see the second head peeking out of his satchel. Zartan's bag is pretty serial killery. |
Like most of the PoC line, Zartan is loaded with details and accessories. There's little things that line did that just made me really happy- like painting Zartan and Dusty's skin as though they're sunburned. Just great attention to detail. We've got a pretty nice if now pretty standard Zartan head here, I like the grey/blue for the eye designs rather than the classic black. Blends with the new look much better. Speaking of the new look- Check that hood! Where the big Z previously had a fairly pointless hood attached to nothing at all, this version's hood actually makes sense. The little braids and charms woven in there just cap off an already great piece of gear. Speaking of gear...
Okay, it's not a ton of gear like you see on Beachhead or the Shock Trooper, but it's a pretty mean arsenal nonetheless. He's got a brutal little rifle with a double clip and side mounted flashlight and a pretty nothing pistol, but I particularly like the twin machetes and the addition of a little feathered friend.
Nothing to worry about. |
About to become a flurry of feathers and very very sharp points. |
Just your average citizen! |