Dreadnok Dust-Up Day 1: The Family Z

When I received my Dreadnok battle set from BBTS a couple weeks ago, I knew I had to review it asap. However, I'm just so happy that the gang is all back together (except for Storm Rider- I may add him some day, but I'm not *that* much of a completest), that I decided I'd celebrate by going through the entire Dreadnok lineup. And what better place to start than with the brains behind the organisation, The clan Zartan.

I'm going to go through these guys one by one, but the overall impression when you've got all of them together is great. I've got my problems, which I'll get to, but overall there's a really unified feel- which is to be expected, I suppose, since the men and women both share torsos and arms- Not a bad thing, seeing as they are a family. And where better to start than with the patriarch?

 My Zartan is the Hall of Heroes version, with the head of the 2009 5 pack version. I switched the head for a couple of reasons, the main one being the fact that there was a gluing error on his hood on my HoH version which made it impossible for him to wear his masks. Which sucks! Plus the 5 pack head has those flashy green eyes.

I love the headsculpt- The raised eyebrow like he can hardly believe the crap you're trying to sell him, a nice witch's nose and hollow cheeks.

Another thing I love is the Hall of Heroes line. Every one I have (which is only a couple) is loaded with these nice little paint touches, like the brushing on Zartan's armour.

As far as gear, he comes with a fairly lame rifle and a dinky little pistol which I can't be bothered to dig out of my weapons bin, I replaced them with a Marauder John modular rifle, as well as his aforementioned masks.

There's a backpack too, but that sentence was getting too long.

They still don't fit very well, but it's a nice callback to the original Zartan.

This Zartan is one of the figures that really hooked me back into collecting again. I spotted him online for cheap when I was just dabbling in getting back into the toy thing, and the high quality paint and construction on this figure set a pretty high bar for modern Joe figures, as far as I was concerned. The one thing that bothered me about the HoH version is that the stand had the GI Joe logo on it, instead of the Cobra one. I know, but it bugged me and bugged me until I got the 5 pack and gave him that stand.

I know it's nitpicking, but come on. That's bullshit.

 I still rank this guy as one of my top ten favourite figures, if not top five. A top quality tribute to one of the great Joe characters. And speaking of top quality...

The first sign that Hasbro was really taking the Joe line seriously again came with the SDCC exclusive Zarana.  She's just... Wow. A perfect update of the scarily badass punk rock girl I fell in love with as an adolescent. The mohawk is blonde now, but that's cool. She's mean and sexy and still has her bizarrely globular gravity defying breasts.

The detail is just great- She retains her classic torn pants as well as her dagger, which is now removable.

Of course, I forgot to take it out for the photos. But you're not missing much, just a skinny blade.

Obviously, I only have the classic pink version, and not the rarer "Cold Slither" version also available at the con, but I overpaid for her as it is, and the prices just keep going up. Maybe someday Hasbro will rerelease Zarana and Sgt Slaughter for everyone who missed the chance to get one for themselves. I still need my Slaughter, but I don't need him for the prices I'm finding on ebay!

Sorry, getting back to the matter at hand, Zarana comes with just a couple of accessories, a remold of her classic saw rifle thingy, and a vicious black version of Ripper's gun, which I immediately gave to Ripper. But you'll see him soon enough.

As I said before, I did indeed overpay for this girl, but I honestly didn't mind. She was such a favourite as a kid, I simply had to have this amazing version in my collection. And when I found out Hasbro was finally going to complete the family with the new 7 pack, I was over the moon. My shelf was screaming out for a Zandar, I even started work on a custom (just needs a paint job, in fact), and I finally get to add him! And then I saw the pictures...

I gotta say, I was skeptical at best about this guy. The body is all good- In fact, it uses many of the same parts I had assembled for my custom. But the head...

First of all, that scarf is freaking ridiculous. He's practically wearing a snuggie! It's huge! And the headsculpt itself is not much better- This guy looks dull and slow witted. The original Zandar had a distinctive eyebrow raised sneer that gave him a lot of personality and attitude, whereas this face has zero personality whatsoever, much less attitude. The long hair is fine, but really adds to a generally thuggish feel which I think is really out of place on this character.

And you know how I'm always talking about the details on figures? Sometimes those details can go wrong.

I guess that's why the scarf is so massive.

Not to nitpick, but those chest tattoos look like he applied them himself in the mirror. They're crooked and all over the place, as well as facing the wrong direction. I know that's really really nitpicky, but it matters to me, dammit. I guess I'll have to pick up some paints and finish my custom after all. His gear is cool, though.

A very cool crossbow, an evil little knife, the standard Hasbro pistol, and a gold version of the Eel's harpoon gun that they seem to stick everyone with.

Overall, this is a decent figure with a number of staggeringly poor decisions keeping it from being anything like great. Or anything like good, for that matter. Worth having to round out the family, but that's about it.

The final member of the clan is Zartan's daughter, Zanya. I don't really know anything about the character, she came into the comics many years after I was reading, but I do know that she's tough, resourceful, and even led the gang for a time. And this figure captures all of that fantastically.

Yowza. Sorry for the flash!

Her upper body is a repaint of her aunt, and I think she's got new legs. I know the headsculpt is new- It's new and amazing.

I blew this up so you could check the freaking eye piercing.

You know all that attitude I said Zandar was missing? I found it. Seriously, they give Zanya a face that is at once sly, disdainful, mischievous and cruel. Her life story is on her face, and it's not a nice story. I know I'm going on about this sculpt, but I really do think it's one of if not the best I've ever seen in this scale. Great hair, too.

Her gear is really nothing to write home about, the quickly becoming familiar Magnum, which she holds very well, and the standard Cobra AK47 which she can't really hold at all. Again, Marauder John to the rescue!

No gear shot, sorry. Not worth it. The Tommy Gun suits her, I think.

So yeah, obviously I'm a big fan of this figure. She poses great, looks amazing and is a really outstanding debut for the young lady Z.

So final thoughts? Awesome. A bunch of (mostly) great interpretations of some long beloved characters to start off our trip through the ranks of the best biker gang to never really exist, the Dreadnoks.

"Oh god, dad, I know it's you."

"What, am I supposed to believe you and Jesus shop at the same store? Just cut it out!"

"Fine. OH NO! It's Duke! I guess I better run away! Are you happy now? This is so embarrassing!"

Family portrait.

OGs.

GI Joe 30th Anniversary: Sci-Fi

Ahh, 1986. I turned 11 that year, and to me, it's kind of a sweet spot in the original ARAH line. I know there are those that say this is the year the line began to jump the shark, I see it as the year Hasbro began to allow the creators to let their imaginations run wild. And so along with the marine, the sniper and new rangers, medics and communications specialists, we get psychic twins, robot soldiers, mad scientists cobbling together genetic superbeings to battle football players and wrestlers, and this green weirdo.

I've always liked Sci-Fi despite (or due to) two things- He's pretty superfluous- How many military units need one laser rifle specialist, much less two? Flash has got this one covered. Also, as I said a moment ago, this is one weird looking fella. That's not to say he doesn't look cool, but the super neon green is not the most camouflaging colour he could have chosen. But that choice was made in 86, and this guy is an update of the classic figure, and what an update is is!

Check the detail- once again, the big H is just plain spoiling us with another figure geared to old school fans trying to fill in their old collection with modern style figures. everything looks just like- or better than- it's 86 counterpart.

Do the batteries power his boots so he can jump like Bob Hoskins and John Leguizamo?

Again, we seem to have mostly new toolings for the figure parts and accessories, which is cool, but what's cooler is we get a couple new accessories- his helmet is removable, so we get to unmask Sci-Fi!

And he looks like... some guy!

Not only is the helmet removable, it's replaceable with a new fully visored version!

Or, the "Master Chief"

 

It makes sense- he'd be dealing with some pretty extreme temperatures, so more protection is a good thing.  The other accessories are pretty sparse, but well done. The "L-Lat laser assault targeting weapon" (or "argon-burst laser rifle"- he comes with only one gun, but has two plus a "support rifle" listed on his file card) is badass, if again difficult to hold thanks to a handle with an extreme angle.

Other than that, there's a pretty darn accurate (in a more appropriate silver) remold of the original backpack, and a length of standard Joe hose to link the rifle and pack.

Nice detail- The peg to attach the hose has a little red paint app. You'll almost never see it, but it's there.

So again, Hasbro nails it. This 30th anniversary is looking amazing so far, and it's only January. The new movie looks promising, and there's great product coming out the factory door. I can't wait to see what the rest of the year looks like!

GI Joe 30th Anniversary: Techno-Viper

A couple of weeks ago, I missed my bus on the way home from work. I had a whole half hour to kill before the next bus, so I had to kill some time. Luckily, the local nerd shop (Shout out Warp 1!) just so happened to be just across the street. After picking out vol. 2 of the collected classic Marvel Joe comics I found the Joe section (thanks incredibly unwell clerk who didn't so much as roll your eyes at me after I made you walk halfway across the store to point out something that was basically impossible for me to miss). They had all the figures I'd just ordered from the States, of course; because I'm an idiot. But they also had this guy.

I gotta say- I fell in love the second I saw him on the shelf. So chunky and purple and mean as a Russian gangster with a red wine hangover. Not that I don't have my beefs- But we'll get to them in a second. I've always said that the 25th line, when it's at its best, looks to me now how the ARAH line looked to me as a kid. And this is particularly true of this guy. He was cool in 88 and he's cool now.


I love how over the years, more and more military specialities were being represented in the Cobra (and Joe) army. Of course Cobra is going to need technicians! Mind you, in the comics and shows, the various Cobra specialities were generally just blueshirts, but you gotta have new toys to sell! And so we get the Techno-Viper. Master engineers, they build what they need to with whatever raw materials are on hand- Kind of like malevolent MacGyvers. And of course, what's a technician without his tools?

The "PlazArc plasma electric arc welding system", or as I call it, the rifle, is very cool, except that the rather extreme angle of the handle makes it only holdable with a similarly angled hand. So Techno is forever a righty. As a lefty, I've always kind of resented when toys do that. They give him this little dorky pistol for some reason, and a hazard cone. I mean, I kind of like the hazard cone, but why did they include it? For exciting tales of safe working conditions? I love the tools here, and the backpack with its little fuel tanks is great as well. However, they have one major flaw- On the original figure, there were two hoses to attach to the backpack- one to attach to the rifle, and one to attach to one of the three tools. As you can see, this guy only comes with one hose- And worse, only one peg on the backpack to attach a hose! So he can now only really use his rifle, hammer, claw, and "pneumatic shears" one at a time. So that's lame. But as it's my one major complaint with the figure, I think it's a testament to the quality of the figure itself.


The detail on this bad boy is outstanding, and he seems to be almost entirely new molds! Well, we may have seen the torso before, it's so plain under his big chunky badass vest. Speaking of the vest, mine seems to have a crooked paint app on it. But I don't mind- It give the guy a little extra character.

 Did I mention this guy was chunky? This guy should be forced to do the Truffle Shuffle. And just look at that headsculpt! Sinister, thuggish, and implacable. If he needs to burn your home to the ground with you in it to achieve his goal, he'll have no trouble doing so. Head to toe, this is just a stunning figure- It's got a really unified look, with the big purple panels and thick black lines.


 And I guess that's pretty much all I have to say about the figure- I would wholeheartedly recommend anyone add it to their Joe collection. Hell, even if you don't usually collect Joes you should get yourself one. He'll tunnel his way into you heart. And rig it to explode.

The tools neatly packed away.

Out of focus. Sorry. And these are the keepers from the session!

Is this GI Joe or Star Wars?

GI Joe Renegades: Law & Order

Because I was a very foolish teenager, my GI Joe collection consists entirely of 25th anniversary and forward figures. This is for two reasons (other than the aforementioned 15 year old idiot trying to be too cool for toys)- A) The modern figures, with a few exceptions, are cheap like borscht. I'm a pretty broke dude at the moment, so if I can have my plastic habit without spending too much cash, then all the better. Which leads right into the second reason- B) There's so much cool ARAH stuff out there, I know when I open that door, it'll explode like a dam breaking. So I need to keep the door firmly closed until my financial situation is much more comfy.

So when I rediscovered my love for all things Joe a few years ago, I set about recreating my childhood collection with the updated figures. When the 25th anniversary line ended with so many holes left in the original lineup, I was pretty disappointed. I figured the movie universe would more or less take over and that'd be it for the classic looking figures. But then the big H started doing something fun- They started to sneak long awaited additions to the 25th anniversary lineup, in full classic looking style, into the other toy lines. They tended to stick out like sore thumbs, but the hardcores didn't care. The Rise of Cobra movie line, which I really don't like on the whole- too many bulky accelerator suits and jumbo ridiculous launchers, gave us Monkeywrench and Kamakura, the Resolute line gave us Shockwave and Tunnel Rat. Even the Pursuit of Cobra line had the fan favourite Low Light. And now, although Hasbro is already spoiling us collectors with the 30th anniversary line, the Renegades cartoon tie-in gives us Law & Order.

                                     

If you compare Law & Order with other figures from the Renegades line it becomes immediately clear that one of these things is not like the other. The majority of the Renegades line keeps the simplistically stylized cartoon look of the show, whereas Law & Order are much more at home with the realistically molded 30th anniversary line. The only thing cartoony about this pair is Law's gargantuan badge. It's practically the size of his face!

 One thing that is certainly not cartoony is the sheer amount of firepower this guy is packing- He's got a compact little SMG, a pretty badass riot shotgun, a little silenced 9mm (courtesy of another reuse of the legs of good ol' Snake Eyes v54) & a not so little Magnum hand cannon. He also sports a tonfa for beating your ass, a visor so he doesn't get your blood all up in his face, and a pair of cuffs for taking you out of the fight.

 Hasbro really brought it with the detail and volume of accessories with the PoC line, but I've heard that they want to start saving a little money with the accessories. That would certainly explain my biggest bitch about this figure- They don't pack in a repaint of the Cobra Shock Trooper's amazing riot shield. How much of a natural would that be? Ah well, I guess there's always Marauder John. But the cutback rumor would also explain another thing I found odd- The new weapons are a little... basic. Some of the outstanding detail seen just a year ago with those great PoC weapons seems to be gone. The guns & tonfa still look cool, they just kinda look... Blocky, I guess?

And then there's the mother of all accessories- Order herself (I'm not sure of Order's canon gender, but she's always been female to me). Well, it's a good looking mold- she looks friendly, but with with a definite edge. The pack mule jacket wouldn't have been my choice, but it's fine. Same goes for the... What the hell is this bib thing? Bulletproof vest? I guess?

 But seriously- Did they have to mold the thick plastic leash right to poor Order's neck? I guess there's a lot of bulk around that neck already, and they didn't want to add any more? But why have all that bulk in the first place? I don't get it. So Order, despite being a good looking dog mold, can't ever be without her master because if no one's holding the leash, it looks like she's beginning a transformation into Venom.

And speaking of her master, How's Law look? Pretty damn good! He's got a really cool head sculpt- but there's one little problem with his handsome coif- It makes his helmet sit kind of awkwardly on his head. But we're really getting into nitpicking territory at this point- It's a reasonable tradeoff for a head sculpt with a little extra personality.

He rocks the Shock Trooper vest hard- It looks like it was made for him. My only complaint is that there's no place for the cuffs or tonfa- although he can dangle the cuffs from behind his head, for all the good that'd do him.

Did I say he reuses the legs of SEv54? That's true of the upper legs, but the lower legs are new, at least to me. It's not often you see a Joe with pant cuffs, usually they're rockin' the boots, so it kind of sticks out for me. I thinks it's a cool detail, although he should really think about hitting a tailor- It looks like these are Roadblock's handmedowns.

I know I've done a lot of complaining in this post, but I really do like Law & Order. My current collection may be larger than my collection was when I was a kid, but it still has some big holes in it. Law & Order was one of those holes, and these two will do very nicely, thank you very much. And above anything else- It gives me hope that now that the 30th anniversary line is more or less done (for the time being, at least), we may still see some surprises along the way. Like Kwinn. I want Kwinn, Hasbro, and I know you've got him- You can't fool me! I'm begging you not to make it a SDCC exclusive! I must honor the Spirit of the Bear and the Spirit of the Weasel, although he may whisper poison in my ear. Kwinn must be added to my collection!

Ahem. Sorry,  I just read GI Joe #19, and am all emotional.

Order! Down, girl!

The long arm of the law.