Little Clear Elastics: Dreadnok Dust-Up Day 1: The Family Z

When I received my Dreadnok battle set from BBTS a couple weeks ago, I knew I had to review it asap. However, I'm just so happy that the gang is all back together (except for Storm Rider- I may add him some day, but I'm not *that* much of a completest), that I decided I'd celebrate by going through the entire Dreadnok lineup. And what better place to start than with the brains behind the organisation, The clan Zartan.

I'm going to go through these guys one by one, but the overall impression when you've got all of them together is great. I've got my problems, which I'll get to, but overall there's a really unified feel- which is to be expected, I suppose, since the men and women both share torsos and arms- Not a bad thing, seeing as they are a family. And where better to start than with the patriarch?

My Zartan is the Hall of Heroes version, with the head of the 2009 5 pack version. I switched the head for a couple of reasons, the main one being the fact that there was a gluing error on his hood on my HoH version which made it impossible for him to wear his masks. Which sucks! Plus the 5 pack head has those flashy green eyes.

I love the headsculpt- The raised eyebrow like he can hardly believe the crap you're trying to sell him, a nice witch's nose and hollow cheeks.

Another thing I love is the Hall of Heroes line. Every one I have (which is only a couple) is loaded with these nice little paint touches, like the brushing on Zartan's armour.

As far as gear, he comes with a fairly lame rifle and a dinky little pistol which I can't be bothered to dig out of my weapons bin, I replaced them with a Marauder John modular rifle, as well as his aforementioned masks.

There's a backpack too, but that sentence was getting too long.

They still don't fit very well, but it's a nice callback to the original Zartan.

This Zartan is one of the figures that really hooked me back into collecting again. I spotted him online for cheap when I was just dabbling in getting back into the toy thing, and the high quality paint and construction on this figure set a pretty high bar for modern Joe figures, as far as I was concerned. The one thing that bothered me about the HoH version is that the stand had the GI Joe logo on it, instead of the Cobra one. I know, but it bugged me and bugged me until I got the 5 pack and gave him that stand.

I know it's nitpicking, but come on. That's bullshit.

I still rank this guy as one of my top ten favourite figures, if not top five. A top quality tribute to one of the great Joe characters. And speaking of top quality...

The first sign that Hasbro was really taking the Joe line seriously again came with the SDCC exclusive Zarana. She's just... Wow. A perfect update of the scarily badass punk rock girl I fell in love with as an adolescent. The mohawk is blonde now, but that's cool. She's mean and sexy and still has her bizarrely globular gravity defying breasts.

The detail is just great- She retains her classic torn pants as well as her dagger, which is now removable.

Of course, I forgot to take it out for the photos. But you're not missing much, just a skinny blade.

Obviously, I only have the classic pink version, and not the rarer "Cold Slither" version also available at the con, but I overpaid for her as it is, and the prices just keep going up. Maybe someday Hasbro will rerelease Zarana and Sgt Slaughter for everyone who missed the chance to get one for themselves. I still need my Slaughter, but I don't need him for the prices I'm finding on ebay!

Sorry, getting back to the matter at hand, Zarana comes with just a couple of accessories, a remold of her classic saw rifle thingy, and a vicious black version of Ripper's gun, which I immediately gave to Ripper. But you'll see him soon enough.

As I said before, I did indeed overpay for this girl, but I honestly didn't mind. She was such a favourite as a kid, I simply had to have this amazing version in my collection. And when I found out Hasbro was finally going to complete the family with the new 7 pack, I was over the moon. My shelf was screaming out for a Zandar, I even started work on a custom (just needs a paint job, in fact), and I finally get to add him! And then I saw the pictures...

I gotta say, I was skeptical at best about this guy. The body is all good- In fact, it uses many of the same parts I had assembled for my custom. But the head...

First of all, that scarf is freaking ridiculous. He's practically wearing a snuggie! It's huge! And the headsculpt itself is not much better- This guy looks dull and slow witted. The original Zandar had a distinctive eyebrow raised sneer that gave him a lot of personality and attitude, whereas this face has zero personality whatsoever, much less attitude. The long hair is fine, but really adds to a generally thuggish feel which I think is really out of place on this character.

And you know how I'm always talking about the details on figures? Sometimes those details can go wrong.

I guess that's why the scarf is so massive.

Not to nitpick, but those chest tattoos look like he applied them himself in the mirror. They're crooked and all over the place, as well as facing the wrong direction. I know that's really really nitpicky, but it matters to me, dammit. I guess I'll have to pick up some paints and finish my custom after all. His gear is cool, though.

A very cool crossbow, an evil little knife, the standard Hasbro pistol, and a gold version of the Eel's harpoon gun that they seem to stick everyone with.

Overall, this is a decent figure with a number of staggeringly poor decisions keeping it from being anything like great. Or anything like good, for that matter. Worth having to round out the family, but that's about it.

The final member of the clan is Zartan's daughter, Zanya. I don't really know anything about the character, she came into the comics many years after I was reading, but I do know that she's tough, resourceful, and even led the gang for a time. And this figure captures all of that fantastically.


Yowza. Sorry for the flash!

Her upper body is a repaint of her aunt, and I think she's got new legs. I know the headsculpt is new- It's new and amazing.

I blew this up so you could check the freaking eye piercing.

You know all that attitude I said Zandar was missing? I found it. Seriously, they give Zanya a face that is at once sly, disdainful, mischievous and cruel. Her life story is on her face, and it's not a nice story. I know I'm going on about this sculpt, but I really do think it's one of if not the best I've ever seen in this scale. Great hair, too.

Her gear is really nothing to write home about, the quickly becoming familiar Magnum, which she holds very well, and the standard Cobra AK47 which she can't really hold at all. Again, Marauder John to the rescue!


No gear shot, sorry. Not worth it. The Tommy Gun suits her, I think.

So yeah, obviously I'm a big fan of this figure. She poses great, looks amazing and is a really outstanding debut for the young lady Z.

So final thoughts? Awesome. A bunch of (mostly) great interpretations of some long beloved characters to start off our trip through the ranks of the best biker gang to never really exist, the Dreadnoks.