Little Clear Elastics: GI Joe 30th Anniversary: Techno-Viper

A couple of weeks ago, I missed my bus on the way home from work. I had a whole half hour to kill before the next bus, so I had to kill some time. Luckily, the local nerd shop (Shout out Warp 1!) just so happened to be just across the street. After picking out vol. 2 of the collected classic Marvel Joe comics I found the Joe section (thanks incredibly unwell clerk who didn't so much as roll your eyes at me after I made you walk halfway across the store to point out something that was basically impossible for me to miss). They had all the figures I'd just ordered from the States, of course; because I'm an idiot. But they also had this guy.

I gotta say- I fell in love the second I saw him on the shelf. So chunky and purple and mean as a Russian gangster with a red wine hangover. Not that I don't have my beefs- But we'll get to them in a second. I've always said that the 25th line, when it's at its best, looks to me now how the ARAH line looked to me as a kid. And this is particularly true of this guy. He was cool in 88 and he's cool now.

I love how over the years, more and more military specialities were being represented in the Cobra (and Joe) army. Of course Cobra is going to need technicians! Mind you, in the comics and shows, the various Cobra specialities were generally just blueshirts, but you gotta have new toys to sell! And so we get the Techno-Viper. Master engineers, they build what they need to with whatever raw materials are on hand- Kind of like malevolent MacGyvers. And of course, what's a technician without his tools?

The "PlazArc plasma electric arc welding system", or as I call it, the rifle, is very cool, except that the rather extreme angle of the handle makes it only holdable with a similarly angled hand. So Techno is forever a righty. As a lefty, I've always kind of resented when toys do that. They give him this little dorky pistol for some reason, and a hazard cone. I mean, I kind of like the hazard cone, but why did they include it? For exciting tales of safe working conditions? I love the tools here, and the backpack with its little fuel tanks is great as well. However, they have one major flaw- On the original figure, there were two hoses to attach to the backpack- one to attach to the rifle, and one to attach to one of the three tools. As you can see, this guy only comes with one hose- And worse, only one peg on the backpack to attach a hose! So he can now only really use his rifle, hammer, claw, and "pneumatic shears" one at a time. So that's lame. But as it's my one major complaint with the figure, I think it's a testament to the quality of the figure itself.

The detail on this bad boy is outstanding, and he seems to be almost entirely new molds! Well, we may have seen the torso before, it's so plain under his big chunky badass vest. Speaking of the vest, mine seems to have a crooked paint app on it. But I don't mind- It give the guy a little extra character.

Did I mention this guy was chunky? This guy should be forced to do the Truffle Shuffle. And just look at that headsculpt! Sinister, thuggish, and implacable. If he needs to burn your home to the ground with you in it to achieve his goal, he'll have no trouble doing so. Head to toe, this is just a stunning figure- It's got a really unified look, with the big purple panels and thick black lines.

And I guess that's pretty much all I have to say about the figure- I would wholeheartedly recommend anyone add it to their Joe collection. Hell, even if you don't usually collect Joes you should get yourself one. He'll tunnel his way into you heart. And rig it to explode.